My five-year-old told me last Friday he hadn't received a Christmas candy-gram at school (parents and friends can buy a candy-cane and send it to a student) while one of his friends got three. I'd forgotten about the candy-grams and told him we'd see if they were still doing it this week. Unfortunately we learned Monday the candy gram event was over. My son ran to his room, heartbroken. We tried consoling him by telling him that they do the same thing at Valentine's Day, but he said that was too far away. Mommy Failed-it.
That same night, out of the blue, my seven-year-old asked me, "So how's your book going?" I told him what I'd been working on lately. "Are you going to publish it?" he asked. "That's what Mom's trying to do," I said. He replied, "That'd be cool to get the book." Then he asked this insightful question, "Has anybody said 'yes, it's good?'" Mommy Nailed-it.
Okay, so I can't really take credit for this, but I appreciated his excitement and was pleasantly surprised at his grasp of the situation. Where I feel like I nailed it as a mom is I didn't have to tell him I'd quit or I wasn't doing that anymore. I was able to tell him I was still working toward my dreams.
After a conversation with my hubby earlier that day, I realized how often I site my Mommy Fail moments - or the other things I'm not doing or getting right - but that's easy. Anybody can write a list a mile long of the things they aren't doing or getting wrong. It's much harder to think of and REMEMBER the Mommy Nailed-it moments, the things I do right. And that is what I am going to focus on - now and this coming year.
What are some of your Mommy Nailed-it moments? What do you do to avoid focusing on what you haven't accomplished? Do you think the toddler in the photo above is trying to say,"Mom, you failed it" or "Mom, you nailed it"?
25 comments:
The photo is cute. I'll take that look for mommy-fail over what I get now from my 12 year old son. Swearing. Grrrr. But at least I'm learning new words for my YA novels (if I choose to use them).
I like to enjoy those mommy-nail-it moments. They don't come as often as I would like--except with my daughter. She always makes me feel like I'm doing something right. :D
Oh can I relate! Although my children are almost grown (2 in college, 1 in high school), I still tend to focus on the mommy fail moments, past and present. But here's what's interesting. As I learned to apologize in those mommy fails, even if it was a small thing, I found that while I remembered them, my children didn't so much. Because sometimes the mommy nailed it moments are simply the apologies after the fail, even if it takes them a few years to recognize that. :)
I think it's so important for our children to see us pursuing our craft. What better way for them to see the value of knowing our own hearts, and listening to them too.
First the picture of that little kid is too cute!
Next, I too have failed at candy grams. And this year, I got my calendar mixed up and didn't show up for Moment with Mom to have my picture made and hear him sing. I cried for hours over that one. No kidding. :(
Ok, so now I just re-read your question and realized you didn't ask for the failed it moment but the nailed it moment, thus I have no advice on how to not focus on failing, as you can see that seems to be my focus.
LOL
So cool what you're teaching him! Wow, too many failed it moments to tabulate here. Like the recent one when I sent my preschooler to school on picture day when she picked out her own outfit. Oh yeah!
But I hope I nail it a little each day when I pray for them before school while I'm braiding #2's hair. And when I tell them I love them.
~ Wendy
He looks happy to me, I say nailed it. As for mommy moments on nailing? When my boys understand that everyone has to work towards their goals.
LOL I love that! Ummm. I routinely fail and nail, at the same time sometimes! Heeheee. All part of the crazy parenting adventure. Heh. I have a 7 and 5 yr old too. I can see this same scenario happening in my house. lol
Stina - I know what you mean. My 22-month-old daughter helps me feel like I'm doing something right too.
Anne - You're so right. Admitting when we've made a mistake as a parent can totally turn a failed-it into a nailed-it!
Joanne - What a lovely thought! I hope my children will follow and listen to their own hearts too.
Jess - You always make me laugh! :) I would have cried too about missing the mommy moment, but at least you wanted to be there and had planned to.
Wendy - So true. Little things like you said praying for our kids and telling them we love them really do make a difference.
Cynthia - That little boy's face just makes me smile - so I'm with you, a mommy nailed-it moment. :)
Jessica - How cool you have kids the same age! They are fun stages, though keeping up with all the homework gets crazy sometimes.
I love the title of this post... and you're absolutely right - we moms tend to focus on our failures. I think I'll join you and resolve to empahsis my successes this coming year...
I think the kid in the pic is saying you Nailed-it! Both stories are so cute.
My Mommy-Nailed it moments come when my son hears or sees commercials for foster kids or hungry kids in Africa and he starts crying and says, "Mommy we have to help them." I love his little heart, and that he thinks of others.
Kim - Makes me want to start a movement - moms who focus on the successes more than the failures. :)
Jenny - So true! Those moments when I witness my kids showing/feeling compassion are some of the most precious.
Love the pic. I think he's saying, come on, Mom, I'll help you nail it! *grin*
And I think writing moms teach their kids a lot. Things like: it's good to pursue your dreams, don't give up, how to handle rejection and not let it make you quit, perseverance, waiting on God's timing, balancing priorities...hopefully LOL
This is awesome Stacie :) I need to keep track of what I do well instead of all my mistakes. Thanks for the reminder.
I'm not sure what that child in the picture is saying...lol.
My children are not toddlers anymore, but back then, I experienced mommy fails and mommy nails...I still do. A word of warning - IT never ends! ;D
The nails outweigh the fails by far, and my kids only seem to remember the nails. They still talk about certain mommy nail instances...that's how you know you did good.
My favorite moments are the ones we don't plan, that just sort of happen.
Last year my kids and I spent ALL day decorating our house for CHristmas having one of the most awesome days ever. We tried to recreate it this year, and it just wasn't there . . .
So, yeah. For me, a mommy nailed-it moment just HAPPENS.
It's so hard not to think of what I haven't accomplished. But I'm going to change that this next year. I haven't published a book, but heck, I've written 5! That's something to be proud of, right? :) And my three kids always keep my on my toes. I have them as reminders for what I HAVE accomplished. :)
It was hard to move past that awesome picture into the words, but once I started, you had captured my attention. You are so right - important to remember the "nailed it" moments.
That is one thing I love about writing and going to school. My kids can see me doing it, working hard and not giving up. I love that.
This a good reminder.Last night I think I nailed it when I came home from a terrible day at work, I was in such a bad mood! I hung my worries at the door and played with my kids for an hour straight, giving all my attention to them. In that moment I forgot my stress and remembered why I love life. They felt it, and I think it made a difference.
Sandra - I hope I'm teaching my children these, especially the God's timing one. Great list!
Angela - It's as much for me as it is anyone else! :) I figure if I write it down to work on, I'm more likely to do it.
Loree - I've heard that - the failures and successes keep on even after they leave home. I love, though, that kids mostly remember the good. That's reassuring!
Jolene - So true! Most of those nailed-it moments really are spontaneous. We just have to run with them when they present themselves.
Chantele - Writing five books is nothing to sneer at! That is definitely something to celebrate. My kids are a great reminder to me too - keeping me grounded on what's most important.
Leigh - That's is awesome that you are writing and going to school. Way to go. I want my kids to see it takes work and endurance to reach our dreams.
Jessie - That is a DEFINITE mommy nailed-it moment, when you can put aside the stress/frustration and just be with your kids. Sometimes the best moments for me are just sitting and observing my daughter while she plays.
Such a great post, Stacy! You're right...It's easy to focus on our failures. I love it when my son blows me away and proves he is in fact absorbing the things I'm teaching. Makes all those difficulties worth it!
Sarah - I wonder all the time if they're really listening/absorbing. But like you said, one of them will do something and I'll realize they are taking in more than I give them credit for. That makes me feel like I'm doing something right!
That picture is SO cute. And I've totally had my share of Mommy Failed-It moments, for sure. I love how you're going to try to focus on your Nailed-It moments more. I'm not sure that I DO anything to remind myself to focus on the good I do ... Maybe I need to devise a way tho.
It's so easy to notice the bad. Why is it so hard to congratulate ourselves when we do some good???
Ali - I think there's a cultural emphasis on always reaching for the next milestone/achievement, instead of taking the time to pause and reflect and celebrate on how far we've come.
That pic is too funny!
I do exactly what you said on that last comment.. I take the time to appreciate how far i've come. It's the only way to get thru the heartache of rejections or delayed dreams.
Good for you sticking out your dreams! It's important our kids see that more than anything... that it's ok to fail as long as we keep striving.
I had an epic mommy-fail a few months ago when my 6 year old lost his tooth and I forgot to leave him money. The tooth fairy forgot him!! lol .... I turned it around tho, so all was well.
Pk Hrezo - We've totally forgotten the whole tooth fairy thing before too! The tooth fairy sent my husband a text the next day to inform us she'd been extra busy. :)
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